


Fanfiction

by elfbs



Category: RWBY
Genre: Attempt at Humor, F/F, Fictional smut, Pairs are mostly implied, this thing makes no sense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:48:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26310640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elfbs/pseuds/elfbs
Summary: Above semblances, meddling headmasters and emo grimm queens, there’s a power that can raise spirits, crush souls, elevate one life and cast thousand others into never ending despair. It’s the power of smutty fanfictions.
Relationships: Blake Belladonna/Yang Xiao Long, Ruby Rose/Weiss Schnee
Comments: 2
Kudos: 29





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not really sure where this came from, but who cares? Now, just FYI this thing makes no sense. At all. But if I steal a giggle/chuckle/laugh, then I'll consider it a success.  
> As usual, a big thanks to PhoenixNext for beta reading. I owe you one.

The moment Weiss stepped into their room, she knew something was very wrong. She's never saw Ruby so distressed, almost on the verge of tears.

“Ruby!” she ran to her partner, “Ruby, what’s wrong. What happened?”

Ruby looked at her, a pained whine in her throat, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have… I should have asked before… and it doesn’t matter if you liked it in the end, it was wrong! Wrong! Consent before everything! Weiss I’m so sorry!” 

Weiss didn’t know what to think, as far as she knew Ruby didn’t do anything that could explain her state, surely not to her. “I’m not sure what is going on Ruby. Talk to me?”

She didn’t say anything, but shoved her scroll in Weiss’ hands, still opened to a page of Beacon’s library, the one dedicated to amateur writers.

_ Garnet looked down at her captive, still smearing lube on her strapon. “It’s time for me to get to know your tiny ass, Snow!” she whispered to her partner, eyes full of lust. Then, she lowered her tool to the white-haired girl’s backdoor and slowly started to push.. _

Weiss tapped to the ‘close’ button furiously, her face scarlet by shame and rage. “Blake Belladonna!” she seethed, throwing the scroll back at her partner. “Wait here, Ruby, I’m going to deal with this  _ filth _ right away!” and rushed out in chase.

-o-o-o-

It had been two months since the last time Ruby braved to browse the fanmade section of Beacon’s library, too scared to find more of those horrible stories. Weiss said she would deal with it, but they never spoke about it again and Ruby hadn’t had the guts to ask.

But growing curiosity was gnawing at her mind, and she had finally reached the point of no return. With a deep, fortifying breath, she reached for her scroll.

After a good hour of browsing, Ruby found… nothing. Gone was the incriminating piece and no other works like that were to be found. She almost laughed in relief, Weiss was going to get a big hug as soon as she was back from whatever she had to do in Vale.

And the occasion arrived just a few minutes later, Weiss had barely the time to close the door when a red caped rocket grabbed her in a tight embrace.

“R-Ruby? Not that I mind the... effusion, but to what do I owe the pleasure?”

“You did it!” she exclaimed “You got Blake to delete it and stopped her writing more!!” 

“Delete it, yes, but who said anything about making her stop?”

“What?!? But-But you said you were going to deal with it!!!”

“Indeed I did. I made her sign a contract with a publisher, her first book was released a month ago. I think the title is ‘Red Blizzard’, not the most inspired, but it does its job.”

Ruby looked at her like she was crazy “You mean that the entire city is reading about our fictional sex life?!?!”

“I do. By the way, I went to the bank to get our first share of the revenues.” she slid a piece of paper in Ruby’s hands

“I don’t care about the money!! How could you!?! This is so wrong that…” she glanced at the check. 

“....”

“....”

“Weiss?”

“Yes, Ruby?”

“Those are a lot of ‘zeros’”

“Sure they are.”

“And you said the book was released only a few weeks ago?”

Weiss just nodded.

Ruby stood there for a moment, then took out her scroll and quickly composed a message.

“Who are you writing to?”

“Blake, to see if she needs more source material.”


	2. Chapter 2

The place was awful. Few, dirty bulbs cast more shadows than light, mismatched chairs accompanied a handful of rackety tables and stools that had seen better days were lined up next to a dirty bar. To call it dingy would be being nice, it was the kind of tavern where people went to drown their troubles in the bottom of many bottles. People like Qrow… and his blonde niece it seemed. 

His brow furrowed, he knew Yang didn’t mind a little alcohol, but she usually went for flashy clubs, not end-of-the-line holes like this one. With a spark of worry, he sat on the stool next to her

“Hey Firecracker, what’s up?”

Yang jumped at the words, not expecting anyone to talk to her, and nearly fell off the stool. She was saved from an embarrassing moment only because she was heavily leaning on the counter, and it wasn’t exactly a good thing since it meant she was too drunk to sit straight.

“Uncle Qrow?” she slurred, eyes blinking trying to focus on the men in front of her. Yep, completely drunk. Not enough to pass out, but judging by the half empty bottle on the counter she was working on it.

“What are you doing in this shithole Yang? It’s not exactly the place for a lady” He tried to keep the mood light, but that spark of worry was growing by the minute. Yang’s answer didn’t help.

“It-It’s Ruby”

Warning alarms blared in his mind, all the thoughts about booze wiped away. He grabbed her shoulder “What with her? Is she safe? Yang, focus!”

Yang had to fight a wave of nausea before she could reply “She’s… she’s ok, but... Fuck! Qrow, a grimm bit her and at first we thought she was ok, but it came out it was kind of a mutant grimm and it fucked up her… her inside chemistry or whatever!”

Qrow paled, fear gripping his heart. Not Ruby. Not his little ball of sunshine.

Yang continued, grippin her own hair “And the doctors had to use a-an experimental serum to save her, only that thing scrambled her dna and now she has a dick!”

He blinked. Then he blinked again. “A…  _ what _ ?!?”

“A dick! A cock! A bitchbreacker! Call it what you like it! And then she went kind of feral, they tried to restrain her, but she freed herself and I don’t know how but she tracked down Weiss and fucked her for  _ hours _ before she finally snapped out of it! And now Weiss is pregnant but the docs don’t know if the child will be human or-or a hybrid or a full monster and and..”

Qrow slapped a hand on his face “Yang, you snooped around Blake’s WIPs without permission again, didn’t you?”

“AND I’M TRYING TO BLEACH MY BRAIN, BUT IT DOESN’T WORK!!!”

He groaned “Will you ever learn?”

-o-o-o-

Morning came too early in Yang’s opinion, and it did only to punish her with too much happy light. Not that she could exactly form an opinion at that moment, she was still trying to climb back to consciousness, but if she could have one, it would be that.

With a monumental effort she opened her eyes, and learned two things. First, she was in her bed. Second, there was something in her head and it was trying to break it in two. All hail the king of hangovers splitting headaches.

She finally found the strength to sit up, and was trying to decide what was better, going to find an aspirin or killing herself, when someone clearing their throat caught her attention. Blake was there, perched on her desk, arms crossed and an expression that was half amused and half annoyed.

“Heya babe!” Yang said, with a weak wave of her hand.

“I believe you said you wouldn’t try to read my work in progress anymore.”

‘ _ Ugh! Busted. _ ’ she could just smile sheepishly.

Blake arched an eyebrow “Well?”

“I was just looking for Bumblebee smut…” she murmured looking away.

Blake rolled her eyes “Can I trust you that this will be the last time  _ for real _ ?”

“Huu… can’t promise anything!” Despite the embarrassment AND the headache Yang couldn’t repress a cheeky smile.

Blake sighed, pulled out a sheet of paper and started to read.

‘ _ Garnet and Snow backed up to the wall of the cavern, cold sweat running down their neck. They went in trying to find that odd grimm, but it found them instead. With the only way out blocked by a wriggling mass of countless tentacles, they knew they screwed up.  _

_ The grimm lurched so fast they didn’t have time to react, in an instant their limbs were restricted and spread apart, while more tendrils tore their clothes to shreds, preparing them for… _ ’

“YOU WIN! YOU WIN! I WON’T DO IT AGAIN! I SWEAR ON-ON MY HAIR!”

Blake smirked and patted her cheek. “Good girl.”

-o-o-o-

It was a peaceful, lazy morning at the Schnee-Rose house. Weiss was relaxing on her side of the couch, a book in one hand (not one of Blake’s) and a cup of tea in the other. Ruby was sitting on the other side, laptop on her knees, her attention completely caught by whatever tingled her curiosity.

A ping from Weiss’ scroll broke the quiet, alerting her of an incoming message. Weiss frowned, but upon reading it she couldn’t stop a snort, making Ruby look at her. “Something funny?”

“It’s Blake. Yang needs another round of therapy and she asks if we’re ok to pitch in.”

Ruby rolled her eyes “Let me guess, she read Blake’s WIPs again”

Weiss answered with a smirk.

“Ugh!”, Ruby groaned “Fine, fine. She’s my sister and I’d like to keep her as sane as she can be” Then she stretched, her spine giving a satisfying pop. “I need a pause, is there any more tea left?”

“Sure, suit yourself.”

“Good, I'll just go grab a cookie. Or two.”

“Dolt” Despite the word, Weiss smiled at her and Ruby left with a giggle, 

But as soon as she was out of sight, Weiss reached for the laptop. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Ruby, but when she was so focused on something, more often than not it would end in some crazy adventure or big explosions. Sometimes both.

The screen came back to life, showing a search engine page. It seems that Ruby was looking for…

‘ _ Mutant grimm sightings _ ’

“RUBY ROSE!”


End file.
